If I Lost You
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: “Don’t you dare give up on me, Shorty,” he murmured, reaching out to stroke her raven hair that had spilled over the side of the stretcher. Her face was pale, and he gently ran the back of his hand over her cheek, silently pleading with her to hold on.


Hey there again, everyone! This is my newest story, and my second Walker story, called If I Lost You. It's based on the Travis Tritt song, If I Lost You, and it's a fairly angsty story. Enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: They ain't mine. At least, that's what the big men in white lab coats with needles say...

A big shout out goes to Sweet-4-Stabler, who reads and reviews all my SVU and Walker stories. Thanks, bunny!

He saw her hit the ground, and he screamed as he ejected several bullets in Curran's direction. Walker screamed at Gage, but he ignored his boss as he ran to Sydney's side, then lifted her into his trembling arms and ran for the safety of the wooded area.

As gently as he could, he laid her on the ground, then scanned her for wounds. Blood gushed from a wound in her abdomen, and he swallowed a fresh burst of anger as he pressed his hands tightly against the wound.

"Syd, stay with me, sweetie. Stay with me," he pleaded softly, but she didn't respond to his voice, and he continued to apply pressure to the injury.

Finally the gunshots ended, and Walker and Trivette appeared at Gage's side.

"Ambulance is on it's way," Walker stated, and a few seconds later, the three of them could hear sirens blaring off in the distance.

Before he knew what was happening, Gage was being pulled away from Sydney's side, and he watched helplessly as the paramedics worked to save his partner's life. A minute later, the paramedics lifted Sydney onto a stretcher, and Gage looked at Walker questiongly before he trotted after Sydney's stretcher.

The paramedics quickly lifted Sydney into the back of the ambulance, and they looked questiongly at an anxious Gage.

"She's my partner," he explained quickly, the authority in his voice leaving no room for argument. "I'm going with her." Then he climbed into the back of the ambulance and quickly took a seat out of the way.

The engine of the ambulance roared to a start, and he felt the vehicle jerk as they sped off of the gravel drive. As the paramedics continued to work furiously on his partner, Gage reached over and wrapped his long fingers around Sydney's limp hand.

"Don't you dare give up on me, Shorty," he murmured, reaching out to stroke her raven hair that had spilled over the side of the stretcher. Her face was pale, and he gently ran the back of his hand over her cheek, silently pleading with her to hold on.

GSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGS

Gage was sitting on the couch in the waiting room, his elbows on his knees and his face hidden in his hands, when Walker, Alex, Trivette and Erica walked in.

Immediately Alex went to Gage and wrapped him in her arms, holding her close to him. "She'll be alright, Gage," she murmured, rubbing soothing circles over his back.

Walker moved from the door, over to Gage's side, and Alex stepped back as Walker laid a small pink bundle in Gage's arms.

Gage sniffed and smiled, cradling the baby to his chest. She cooed and smiled toothlessly at him, and he let out a small laugh. Walker knew that he loved that baby like his own child, and that if anyone could cheer him up, she could.

A few minutes later, Gage handed Angela back to her father, then leaned back against the back of the couch.

Time crawled by as the five waited for word of their injured colleague, friend, and partner. Walker held his daughter and wife close to him, while Erica snuggled into Trivette's side.

Somewhere near midnight, after Alex had left to take Angela home, a man in bloody scrubs appeared in the waiting room. Immediately Gage rose to his feet, followed by Walker and Trivette.

"Are you all here for Sydney Cooke?" the man asked, and Gage suddenly couldn't breathe.

Walker stepped up beside Gage and shook the doctor's hand, saying, "I'm Ranger Walker, that's Ranger Jimmy Trivette, and this is Ranger Gage, Sydney's partner. How is she?"

"I'm Dr. Kyle Lauren, Miss Cooke's primary. I'll be straight with the four of you. The surgery was very hard on Miss Cooke. We finally stabilized her about an hour ago, but she's in very critical condition."

His words floored Gage, and he tried to remain in control of his emotions. "When… when can I see her?" he finally managed to ask.

A frown wrinkled Lauren's forehead, and he let out a sigh. "Normally it wouldn't be allowed, but since you are rangers, and we try to be lenient with you for all the help you provide, I suppose it wouldn't hurt for you to go in there and sit with her for a little while. But only one at a time."

Gage looked at Walker, who nodded and said, "Tell her we miss her, Gage."

With a nod, Gage followed Dr. Lauren out of the waiting room and through several long hallways. Finally they reached the Critical Care Unit, and Lauren turned to Gage and said, "I need to warn you now, Ranger Gage. Miss Cooke had a very difficult time during surgery, and I'm afraid that she had to be intubated, and the machine's doing most of the breathing for her."

Lauren's statement shook Gage to the core, and he shoved his trembling hands into his pockets to keep the doctor from seeing. "Can I see her now?" he asked softly, and Lauren nodded and opened the door to Sydney's room.

The room was dark and quiet, save for the sounds of the machines working to keep his partner alive. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and Lauren said, "It's okay, Ranger Gage. Go talk to her, and don't be afraid to touch her. Just be careful not to disturb the machinery."

Gage swallowed thickly and took an unsure step forward, then another, until he was standing by her bed and looking down at his diminutive partner.

Her raven hair was fanned around her head, and he shuddered at the sight of the tube in her mouth. With a quiet sigh, he reached over and ran his thumb along her cheek, tracing the line of her jaw.

"Syd," he murmured, tears clogging his throat. He cleared his throat and looked around the room at the myriad of machines surrounding his partner's bed. A lone chair sat in the corner of the room, and he pulled his hand from her jaw and walked to the corner of the room. Then he picked up the chair and carried it back to Sydney's side, sitting down in it with a troubled sigh.

As he watched her chest rise and fall, aided by the machines, he suddenly felt a strange reversal of roles as he realized that this must have been how she had felt when he had lost his hearing, or when he had been mauled by the bear while on a camping trip with Walker and Trivette.

There's been times I felt like half a man

Life's had me down on my knees

Troubled times I don't understand

Why they happen to me

Timidly, Gage reached over and covered her small hand with his large one, then slowly turned it over so her hand was resting inside of his.

"Sydney," he started softly, squeezing her fingers gently. "I can't… I can't lose you. I never told you this, but… but you mean so much to me. You're more than my partner, Shorty."

His left hand reached out, and he gently touched her temple with his fingertips, hoping to draw her back to him. "I don't know how you did it, Syd," he sighed, his thumb gently stroking the back of her hand. "You're so strong. I can barely hold myself together."

Her eyes remained closed, and he closed his eyes for a brief moment, then opened them again and said, "Syd, I'm not as strong as everybody thinks. I'm only strong when you're with me."

I have struggled through the darkness

And I have found the light of day

The next night, Gage was sitting by Sydney's bed, his elbows resting on the mattress and his hand gently covering hers.

"Syd, I need you to open your eyes for me," he said quietly, squeezing her hand in his. "The doctors… they say that if you don't wake up soon, you might never wake up."

Tears stung at his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. "Shorty, you can't let them be right. Please, wake up and show them what idiots they are. Please."

He leaned back in the hard hospital chair and crossed his legs, but kept ahold of her small hand.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Gage was sitting in the chair, the chair that had become known as his since he was there as much as he was allowed to be. Sydney still had not regained consciousness, but he kept his faith up by talking to her, reminding her of all the things they had gone through, both good and bad.

"Now I know how you felt, kiddo," he murmured quietly as he brazenly caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. He cleared his throat and swallowed thickly. "Sydney, I always thought… I always thought that there would be time. I thought that I could tell you tomorrow, or next week, or even next month."

He listened to her breathing for a few seconds before he continued in a quiet voice that he wasn't even sure was his own.

"I care about you, Syd. More than a partner should. And I don't know what I would do if I lost you. Please, Sydney. Don't make me lose you."

But if I lost you

There'd be no sunshine shining through

I don't know what in the world I would do

If I lost you

Gage was sitting at his desk, staring ahead at the empty desk across from his. Suddenly he rose to his feet and walked over to Sydney's desk, sitting down carefully in her chair.

In front of him, several pictures caught his attention. But one seemed to dominate the rest, and he couldn't help but smile as he picked it up and looked closely at it.

The picture was a candid shot of him and Sydney that Trivette had taken just a few months ago, before C.D. had died. The two of them had been playing pool against each other, and she had purposefully bumped into him every time he tried to take a shot.

Finally she bumped into him again, and he had slammed the pool cue down on the table, then chased her around the room, much to the amusement of the other rangers and A.D.A. He managed to back her into a corner, his hands braced against the wall on either side of her head.

He saw the mischievous twinkle that suddenly appeared, and before he knew what was happening, Sydney had pushed him away and pressed her lips firmly against his, her arms winding around his neck as her body arched against his.

He looked at the picture, his face the picture of surprise and delight, hers the picture of wanting and contentment.

The phone at his desk rang, and he put the picture back, then reached over and picked up his phone. "Texas Rangers, Company B. Ranger Gage speaking."

Gage, it's Alex.

Immediately his heart sank, and he took a breath before saying, "What is it, Alex?"

You need to come down to the hospital, now.

A dial tone sounded in his ear, and he slammed the phone down onto the receiver, then grabbed his jacket and ran out of the room.

Like a ship with no harbor

Like a bird with no wings

Like a fish out of water

A dreamer without a dream

"What happened? Is Syd alright?" Gage demanded as he skidded to a stop in front of Alex, Trivette and Walker.

The three exchanged worried glances, and Gage felt his heart sink at their lack of words.

"Is my partner alright?" he demanded again, and this time, Walker moved to Sydney's door, wordlessly pushing it open. Gage stared at him for a long moment before he cautiously walked into Sydney's room.

As he stepped into the room, he sighed a small sigh of relief when he noticed that the tube helping her to breathe was gone, but her eyes were still closed.

He immediately sat down in his chair and laid his hand over hers, squeezing it gently. "Syd, you scared me," he said softly, his left hand reaching out to tenderly smooth back some of her hair. His hand was shaking, and as he pulled it away, he gently grasped hers and rested his head on their entangled hands.

His heart was still pounding furiously against his ribs, and he finally said softly, "I love you, Shorty. I can't lose you."

"You're not going to," a quiet voice said, and Gage froze as soft fingers slowly threaded through his hair. Had he imagined that? Was he missing her so badly that his mind was playing tricks on him?

He raised his head slowly, and he couldn't hold back the emotions that escaped as he saw the most beautiful and warm pair of brown eyes he had ever seen in his life.

"Syd?" She nodded, and he suddenly flung himself out of his chair and wrapped her in his arms, holding her close against his chest. Her arms went around his back, and he shuddered and pressed his face into her neck, his hand burying itself in her raven hair.

"Gage, I'm alright," she said hoarsely, running her hands over his back. "I'm fine."

He shuddered and held her closer, refusing to let her go for fear that she would disappear if he did. "I almost lost you," he finally whispered, and tears stung both of their eyes.

Reluctantly he pulled away, his trembling hand reaching out to tuck an errant strand of hair behind her ear. His hand came to rest against her cheek, and she pressed her cheek against his hand, her eyes closing for a moment.

"Syd, I almost lost you," he finally whispered, and Sydney could see the tears in his clear blue eyes.

She reached out and wrapped her hand around his, bringing it to rest against her heart. She held it there for a moment, then murmured, "You feel that, Gage? I'm alive. You couldn't lose me if you wanted to."

I have learned about losing

I could lose most anything

He felt her heart beating strongly beneath his touch, and his shoulders sagged beneath the weight of almost losing his Sydney. Everything crashed into him, and he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, his hands tangling in her hair.

She parted her lips, allowing him access as they both moaned softly. Finally they broke the kiss, and for several seconds, they simply stared at each other.

"I love you," they both said at the same time, and at the admissions, they both laughed. But his laughter quickly turned to tears, and he bowed his head and hid his face in his hands.

Suddenly he felt her hands on his shoulders, and she pulled him back up into her arms again, holding him gently.

He moved up carefully to lay beside her on the bed, and she tucked her arm under his head and laid down. He moved closer to her, and she draped one arm over his waist as she felt her hospital gown grow wet with his tears. "Shh, Gage. Sleep," she whispered, stroking his hair as he finally went limp in her arms and gave into the beckoning sleep.

A few minutes later, Walker, Alex and Trivette walked into Sydney's room, their eyes wide and smiles bright. But when Walker reached out to wake Gage, Sydney glared at him and swatted his hand away.

"Don't touch him!" she hissed, and he threw his hands up in the air and backed away slowly, making Alex and Trivette laugh softly.

Alex walked around the men to Sydney and hugged the smaller woman awkwardly to avoid disturbing her sleeping partner. Walker was next, then Trivette, and as he pulled away, Walker said, "We're all glad that you're alright, Sydney."

She smiled and nodded at them, and after some small talk, the three left again, leaving Sydney alone with her still sleeping partner. Her stomach was killing her, but she welcomed the pain as she ran her fingers through his hair gently.

"I love you, Gage," she said softly, pressing her lips to his temple. He stirred a little, and she laid her head beside his and watched him until she finally was claimed by sleep.

_But if I lost you_

_There'd be no sunshine shining through_

_I don't know what in the world I would do_

_If I lost you_

_Oh, if I lost you_

_There'd be no sunshine shining through_

_Don't know what in the world I would do_

_If I lost you_

The End

A/N: Okay, there ya'll have it! Now, please leave me a nice little review while I get working on my first full length Walker Texas Ranger story! Audios!


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